IF A COLLEGE ATHLETE isn't a redshirt freshman, why do TV and newspaper reporters always say that he's a true freshman? If he's not a redshirt freshman, he's what?
A freshman. Simple.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Too wordy
I was just reading a college football report and came across this.
Sickle cell trait happens to be the leading killer of Division I football players since 2000.
You can say the same thing with this:
Sickle cell trait is the leading killer of Division I football players since 2000.
Here's another bit of wordiness:
What Notre Dame will have to deal with is the losses of quarterback Jimmy Clausen and wide receiver Golden Tate, as well as offensive linemen Eric Olsen and Sam Young.You can change that to this:
Notre Dame must deal with the losses of quarterback Jimmy Clausen, wide receiver Golden Tate, and offensive linemen Eric Olsen and Sam Young.More later.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Off the mark
The N.Y. Post is famous for cute headlines or ledes. Today, I found two immediately. The first refers to the U.S. losing to Canada in women's hockey.
More later.
No Can-do: U.S. women settle for hockey silverObviously, Can-do refers back to Canada. It misses the mark.
Houston: McGrady kneeds time to adjustI assume this refers to Tracy McGrady's knee problems, but this headline needs work.
More later.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Self editing
Years ago, my boss bragged that he could cut Shakespeare. That's not true, so I took up the challenge. We had to write newspaper columns that came up a little short so we could put a little info box underneath. So I worked on a column that was a little long to see if he'd jump it inside ... or just end-cut it.
He read it confidently, then went back through it a second time. Then a third time. After a fourth attempt at editing and cutting it, he was getting almost angry. He turned to me and said "Jump it!" in a harsh voice.
I know a great newspaper columnist who writes well, then spends an hour or so editing and proofreading his work. He hones and polishes it, and his editors look at the clock, bet on when he'll file, then grab for the phone when he calls. His writing is so polished that it's almost impossible to edit or cut it. My boss would have had to jump it.
Another terrific newspaper columnist would sometimes write a column about something other than the event he was covering. I once asked him what he was writing about, in case we clashed. He told me not to worry; we wouldn't write about the same thing, guaranteed. And he was right; I'd never go where he went in that column.
That second columnist might be done 20 minutes after a sporting event was done; sometimes he'd even beat most of the traffic. He was good, but he'd have been even better if he'd read his work a few times and found his typos and misspellings.
I've worked with a couple of men who would file stories five or six hours after a football game ended, and you'd still pull your hair out trying to fix it. They were not natural self-editors.
Another guy threw the kitchen sink in his writing. He used every note and every quote he had. It was up to us to figure out what would be the lead, the sidebar and, perhaps, the notes. He was a good writer who could have really stood out if he'd been willing to make more choices.
Still another writer thought so much of himself that he didn't self-edit. And his writing was a mess. One editor wasn't enough; five might not catch all of his errors.
I once worked with a copy editor who turned everything to mud. If you were a terrible writer, he improved it to mediocre. If you were a great writer, your writing devolved to mediocre. My writing was good, and, yes, he dropped it a notch. I actually regressed as a writer during that 34-month stint. I never saw how my writing could get better while working with this guy, and I wondered "why bother?"
Over the next job or two, I got back to my old style and eventually improved.
For years, I covered sporting events, usually auto racing, although you'd see me at football, basketball, baseball, golf and even bodybuilding. I wrote features and game stories, and it was a battle for me. If I hurried, my writing was a mess. If I had time to edit, it could shine.
Which means that I am a typical professional writer. Sometimes I'll be 30 or 45 minutes ahead of time, but, usually, I'm fighting the clock and the editor "looking over my shoulder."
My style is to just start writing; I don't have time for writer's block. Do I need a lede? Sure. I'll put a so-called Associated Press lede (Joe Schmoe scored 24 points, including the last five, as Notre Dame edged...). I'll often find my lede in the middle of my story, so I'll move it to the top, and work the old lede into the story.
I always write by the number of words. If a story needs to be 500 words, I write 550. Then I tighten it to 480 and write some more. Then I cut it to 500 again. I'm always adding more information and finding ways to tighten and improve. If I have time, great. If not, well, they'll have something.
The old newspaper saw goes something like: It's not much of a story, but it's in, so it's a great story.
He read it confidently, then went back through it a second time. Then a third time. After a fourth attempt at editing and cutting it, he was getting almost angry. He turned to me and said "Jump it!" in a harsh voice.
I know a great newspaper columnist who writes well, then spends an hour or so editing and proofreading his work. He hones and polishes it, and his editors look at the clock, bet on when he'll file, then grab for the phone when he calls. His writing is so polished that it's almost impossible to edit or cut it. My boss would have had to jump it.
Another terrific newspaper columnist would sometimes write a column about something other than the event he was covering. I once asked him what he was writing about, in case we clashed. He told me not to worry; we wouldn't write about the same thing, guaranteed. And he was right; I'd never go where he went in that column.
That second columnist might be done 20 minutes after a sporting event was done; sometimes he'd even beat most of the traffic. He was good, but he'd have been even better if he'd read his work a few times and found his typos and misspellings.
I've worked with a couple of men who would file stories five or six hours after a football game ended, and you'd still pull your hair out trying to fix it. They were not natural self-editors.
Another guy threw the kitchen sink in his writing. He used every note and every quote he had. It was up to us to figure out what would be the lead, the sidebar and, perhaps, the notes. He was a good writer who could have really stood out if he'd been willing to make more choices.
Still another writer thought so much of himself that he didn't self-edit. And his writing was a mess. One editor wasn't enough; five might not catch all of his errors.
I once worked with a copy editor who turned everything to mud. If you were a terrible writer, he improved it to mediocre. If you were a great writer, your writing devolved to mediocre. My writing was good, and, yes, he dropped it a notch. I actually regressed as a writer during that 34-month stint. I never saw how my writing could get better while working with this guy, and I wondered "why bother?"
Over the next job or two, I got back to my old style and eventually improved.
For years, I covered sporting events, usually auto racing, although you'd see me at football, basketball, baseball, golf and even bodybuilding. I wrote features and game stories, and it was a battle for me. If I hurried, my writing was a mess. If I had time to edit, it could shine.
Which means that I am a typical professional writer. Sometimes I'll be 30 or 45 minutes ahead of time, but, usually, I'm fighting the clock and the editor "looking over my shoulder."
My style is to just start writing; I don't have time for writer's block. Do I need a lede? Sure. I'll put a so-called Associated Press lede (Joe Schmoe scored 24 points, including the last five, as Notre Dame edged...). I'll often find my lede in the middle of my story, so I'll move it to the top, and work the old lede into the story.
I always write by the number of words. If a story needs to be 500 words, I write 550. Then I tighten it to 480 and write some more. Then I cut it to 500 again. I'm always adding more information and finding ways to tighten and improve. If I have time, great. If not, well, they'll have something.
The old newspaper saw goes something like: It's not much of a story, but it's in, so it's a great story.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Looking for information
I GUESS I'M EASILY TICKED OFF. I'm doing the men's college-basketball roundup for the sports section, and the Associated Press story for the Kansas-Colorado game said that this Aldrich kid had a double-double in the Jayhawks' victory. It didn't say how many points or rebounds he had, in the lede or anywhere else in the story.
I went to ESPN.com and had to jump through hoops, but I found out that Aldrich had 17 points, 10 rebounds and five blocked shots. Why couldn't they just say that? I found a later version of the story, and Aldrich's information was buried toward the bottom.
Oh, joy. The computers are working, but we can't get into stories. Just what we need, with Olympics, basketball, stock-car racing and everything else.
The system was down for about a half hour, but it's back. I just edited a North Carolina Tar Heels story -- they lost to Boston College -- and its obvious that the Heels' faithful can't be happy.
Now I head back to working on the college basketball roundup. I have just one game to finish the roundup, but Gonzaga is still in the first half of a drubbing of Pepperdine.
We finally got the Gonzaga-Pepperdine game, and the college-basketball roundup is done. We're about 10 minutes from deadline, and I don't know how close we are to finishing.
I just edited the main Olympic story, and it's right at deadline. I think we're working on the final file.
We're done; we're outta here.
I went to ESPN.com and had to jump through hoops, but I found out that Aldrich had 17 points, 10 rebounds and five blocked shots. Why couldn't they just say that? I found a later version of the story, and Aldrich's information was buried toward the bottom.
Oh, joy. The computers are working, but we can't get into stories. Just what we need, with Olympics, basketball, stock-car racing and everything else.
The system was down for about a half hour, but it's back. I just edited a North Carolina Tar Heels story -- they lost to Boston College -- and its obvious that the Heels' faithful can't be happy.
Now I head back to working on the college basketball roundup. I have just one game to finish the roundup, but Gonzaga is still in the first half of a drubbing of Pepperdine.
We finally got the Gonzaga-Pepperdine game, and the college-basketball roundup is done. We're about 10 minutes from deadline, and I don't know how close we are to finishing.
I just edited the main Olympic story, and it's right at deadline. I think we're working on the final file.
We're done; we're outta here.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Lots to do
WE HAVE A LARGE SPORTS section for Friday's paper, with lots of Olympic and high-school acation. I'm doing the men's and women's college-basketball roundups (as usual), plus the golf roundup, and I'll have to keep an eye out for the Olympic skating story. I'm not a fan of figure skating, so I'll have to take one for the team.
I've already edited a story on the Wake Forest University baseball team -- the Deacons will still be down this year -- and I edited a high-school wrestling story as well as a story on Dickie Cline retiring as Glenn's football coach.
My first basketball games started at 7.
My best headline was about an Olympic snowboarder named Torah Bright, who overcame problems to get a gold medal. The headline? "Bright finally gets to shine."
The last hour was a blur. I finished my basketball roundups and edited various Olympic and other files. My last file was the Olympic figure skating story, just before deadline.
We were done, and thankfully, it was over.
I've already edited a story on the Wake Forest University baseball team -- the Deacons will still be down this year -- and I edited a high-school wrestling story as well as a story on Dickie Cline retiring as Glenn's football coach.
My first basketball games started at 7.
My best headline was about an Olympic snowboarder named Torah Bright, who overcame problems to get a gold medal. The headline? "Bright finally gets to shine."
The last hour was a blur. I finished my basketball roundups and edited various Olympic and other files. My last file was the Olympic figure skating story, just before deadline.
We were done, and thankfully, it was over.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
A small edit...
THIS SENTENCE/PARAGRAPH GETS the idea across, but a small edit would make it better.
At No. 1, Shabaz whipped John-Patrick Smith, who came in ranked second nationally, 6-4, 6-4.
You could change that to this:
At No. 1, Shabaz captured a 6-4, 6-4 win over John-Patrick Smith, who came in ranked second nationally.That way, you're not separating Shabaz from the score of his victory.
A different way...
A WIRE SERVICE USED an unusual method of attribution on an Olympic skiing story. The writer quoted Lindsey Vonn's husband/coach/adviser in one paragraph, then gave his name in the next graph.
(I wonder how he got to the bottom of the ski run.)
"She had the weight of the world on her," said Vonn's husband and chief adviser, a former U.S. skier who also serves as a personal coach. "People were basically hanging the medal around her neck before the start. That's incredibly hard to deal with."
Thomas Vonn was up at the start before his wife's run to calm her down, and the Vonns embraced in a hug that lasted for 30 seconds when they reunited at the finish.I've been reading for 50-some years and editing for more than 30, and I don't remember seeing this method before. Maybe I just have a bad memory... I like it, though.
(I wonder how he got to the bottom of the ski run.)
Sunday, February 14, 2010
Far offbase
I ASSUME THIS WAS written for a weekly newspaper, given the date given, but it was amazing. Check it out.
The headline reads SPARTANS STUN CARDS Memorial jumps out to 22-0 lead and prevails 22-14. It's a simple high school football game story about a team losing on Sept. 11, 2009, and the writer made the mistake of comparing a 22-14 loss to 9/11.
I was stunned when I read it, and most other people have the same reaction. I suspect the writer has heard about this a few thousand times since then, and I hope he learns from it.
You simply can't compare the mundane -- thousands of teams lose every Friday night in the fall -- to the tragic.
The headline reads SPARTANS STUN CARDS Memorial jumps out to 22-0 lead and prevails 22-14. It's a simple high school football game story about a team losing on Sept. 11, 2009, and the writer made the mistake of comparing a 22-14 loss to 9/11.
I was stunned when I read it, and most other people have the same reaction. I suspect the writer has heard about this a few thousand times since then, and I hope he learns from it.
You simply can't compare the mundane -- thousands of teams lose every Friday night in the fall -- to the tragic.
Fixing a head
I JUST FOUND THIS HEADLINE: Yanks target Cuban SS as Jeter's heir, and it bothers me.
I realize the headline writer needed to write something that fit. The problem is that Cuban shortstop Adeinis Hechavarria is not Derek Jeter's heir. If the Yankees sign him, he might be the heir apparent at shortstop. Big difference.
(Oh, I forgot: Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!)
More later.
I realize the headline writer needed to write something that fit. The problem is that Cuban shortstop Adeinis Hechavarria is not Derek Jeter's heir. If the Yankees sign him, he might be the heir apparent at shortstop. Big difference.
(Oh, I forgot: Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!)
More later.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Racing central
IT'S BEEN A MADHOUSE here since I logged in at 5:15. I've started the men's and women's college-basketball roundups, but mostly I've edited auto racing stuff.
We're doing a two-page Daytona 500/NASCAR preview, and I edited everything in it. I found two mistakes in the headline on the top story on the first page, and I found two words left out (my fault) in one of my two preview stories. I did a story on NASCAR rule changes and another on the Tony Stewart/Ryan Newman team.
I even check the team list and found a misspelling for crew chief Frank Stoddard (spelled Frank Staoddard).
We have a lot to do tonight -- North Carolina and Duke are both playing, and we do have the Olympics, you know -- but one blessing is that a lot of high-school stuff was postponed. The state events were postponed because of the weather in the Raleigh; I don't know why the local stuff was postponed.
I've put all but the late games in the college-basketball roundups, and we're in a slight lull.
I think we also need to get the Nationwide and truck race stories in. The Nationwide race is long-since finished -- Tony Stewart won -- and the truck race started around 7.
I'm getting frustrated. I sent the men's roundup over an hour ago so I could see what I needed to do with it. I have three men's games to add to it, but I haven't gotten it back yet. I'm waiting for the final women's game to come over the wire so I can finish that roundup for the night. (Everything's OK. The paginator opened the file so I could add the other games. When it came to rim, another editor finished it.)
TV announcers like to say that someone got a double-double when he had 15 points and 10 rebounds. This newspaper doesn't allow that. You just give the points and rebounds.
It was a race, but I think we just made deadline. We're done.
We're doing a two-page Daytona 500/NASCAR preview, and I edited everything in it. I found two mistakes in the headline on the top story on the first page, and I found two words left out (my fault) in one of my two preview stories. I did a story on NASCAR rule changes and another on the Tony Stewart/Ryan Newman team.
I even check the team list and found a misspelling for crew chief Frank Stoddard (spelled Frank Staoddard).
We have a lot to do tonight -- North Carolina and Duke are both playing, and we do have the Olympics, you know -- but one blessing is that a lot of high-school stuff was postponed. The state events were postponed because of the weather in the Raleigh; I don't know why the local stuff was postponed.
I've put all but the late games in the college-basketball roundups, and we're in a slight lull.
I think we also need to get the Nationwide and truck race stories in. The Nationwide race is long-since finished -- Tony Stewart won -- and the truck race started around 7.
I'm getting frustrated. I sent the men's roundup over an hour ago so I could see what I needed to do with it. I have three men's games to add to it, but I haven't gotten it back yet. I'm waiting for the final women's game to come over the wire so I can finish that roundup for the night. (Everything's OK. The paginator opened the file so I could add the other games. When it came to rim, another editor finished it.)
TV announcers like to say that someone got a double-double when he had 15 points and 10 rebounds. This newspaper doesn't allow that. You just give the points and rebounds.
It was a race, but I think we just made deadline. We're done.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Another choice...
HERE'S ANOTHER CASE of who vs. whom, and I think this one is questionable.
The Vikings, although they won’t say it, need to know Favre’s plans before March 5, when the trading deadline opens, so they would be able to compete with other teams to acquire, for instance, a Donovan McNabb from Philadelphia or a Matt Hasselbeck from Seattle, or whomever they would try to bring in.
I think that whoever they would try to bring in works better.
More later.
The Vikings, although they won’t say it, need to know Favre’s plans before March 5, when the trading deadline opens, so they would be able to compete with other teams to acquire, for instance, a Donovan McNabb from Philadelphia or a Matt Hasselbeck from Seattle, or whomever they would try to bring in.
I think that whoever they would try to bring in works better.
More later.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Heading it off
I ADMIRE GOOD and clever headlines, but I wonder about Big storm means blizzness. I assume it's a combination of bizness and blizzard, but I think it's a miss more than a hit.
WRITERS OFTEN TRY TOO hard to get everything into a lead, and they throw the kitchen sink at the reader. Check this out:
While the bulk of attention after the New Orleans Saints’ Super Bowl victory over the Indianapolis Colts focused on quarterback Drew Brees and cornerback Tracy Porter — two Saints with improbable journeys whose career performances came in the most important game either had ever played — the path of Sean Payton was just as, if not more, unlikely.
WRITERS OFTEN TRY TOO hard to get everything into a lead, and they throw the kitchen sink at the reader. Check this out:
While the bulk of attention after the New Orleans Saints’ Super Bowl victory over the Indianapolis Colts focused on quarterback Drew Brees and cornerback Tracy Porter — two Saints with improbable journeys whose career performances came in the most important game either had ever played — the path of Sean Payton was just as, if not more, unlikely.
I admire the effort, but that lead is 57 words long; way too many.
More later.
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Mistakes happen
I MADE A MISTAKE when I worked at the local newspaper Thursday -- I work one or two nights a week on a freelance basis -- and it's going to stick with me a while. Easy enough to do, but easy enough to avoid.
I'm working tonight, too, and I'm trying to be extra careful. I've already edited Super Bowl stories on Peyton Manning and Drew Brees, plus a local column by Lenox Rawlings, and I found a story on the wire on the NFL's 2010 Hall of Fame class (no Dolphins in there, as usual).
Our deadline is 11 o'clock tonight -- an hour early -- because of the weather.
We waited for things to happen, then everything broke at once. I was editing auto racing, basketball, tennis and other kinds of stories, one after another. I finally got my last two basketball games about 15 minutes before deadline.
We weren't careful and had three stories with "take" in the headlines, all on one page. We changed two of the "take"s to something else and probably missed deadline by a minute or two.
We're done. (Without too many mistakes, we hope.)
I'm working tonight, too, and I'm trying to be extra careful. I've already edited Super Bowl stories on Peyton Manning and Drew Brees, plus a local column by Lenox Rawlings, and I found a story on the wire on the NFL's 2010 Hall of Fame class (no Dolphins in there, as usual).
Our deadline is 11 o'clock tonight -- an hour early -- because of the weather.
We waited for things to happen, then everything broke at once. I was editing auto racing, basketball, tennis and other kinds of stories, one after another. I finally got my last two basketball games about 15 minutes before deadline.
We weren't careful and had three stories with "take" in the headlines, all on one page. We changed two of the "take"s to something else and probably missed deadline by a minute or two.
We're done. (Without too many mistakes, we hope.)
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Being careful
THE LOCAL NEWSPAPER is running a nice local feature on a high-school kid who was shot in the back in 2005. The boy is a fine basketball player now, and I wanted to get a basketball term in the main headline.
The problem is that I couldn't use "shoot" or "shooting", two regular basketball terms, in the headline. It would be callous to do so, so we switched to "MOVING FORWARD." He's put the shooting in the past, and this headline seems to show this.
I put together the NFL notebook, and I've edited two Super Bowl previews, including one about six New Orleans Saints coaches who have ties with Miami (of Ohio) University. I've also been working on the men's and women's college-basketball roundups. I've gotten many of the basketball results from the Associated Press wire, but I've had to go to web sites for the rest of the results. In that case, I've written the games up myself.
I've also found time to edit a story about a crash during practice at Daytona -- auto racing is my specialty -- and a PGA golf tournament.
I messed up the men's roundup -- I didn't list Tennessee as No. 14 in the country -- but it's fixed.
Proofs have been read, and the presses are running. We're done.
The problem is that I couldn't use "shoot" or "shooting", two regular basketball terms, in the headline. It would be callous to do so, so we switched to "MOVING FORWARD." He's put the shooting in the past, and this headline seems to show this.
I put together the NFL notebook, and I've edited two Super Bowl previews, including one about six New Orleans Saints coaches who have ties with Miami (of Ohio) University. I've also been working on the men's and women's college-basketball roundups. I've gotten many of the basketball results from the Associated Press wire, but I've had to go to web sites for the rest of the results. In that case, I've written the games up myself.
I've also found time to edit a story about a crash during practice at Daytona -- auto racing is my specialty -- and a PGA golf tournament.
I messed up the men's roundup -- I didn't list Tennessee as No. 14 in the country -- but it's fixed.
Proofs have been read, and the presses are running. We're done.
Active and passive
I'VE WRITTEN HERE about active and passive voice, and, yes, I prefer active voice. You can read more about it here or here. It looks like they both explain it well.
READERS OF THIS blog know I like concise speech, and here's a NY Times column on what the writer calls concision. I especially like the headline Eighth Army Push Bottles Up Germans. I suspect the Germans didn't like those bottles at all.
More later
READERS OF THIS blog know I like concise speech, and here's a NY Times column on what the writer calls concision. I especially like the headline Eighth Army Push Bottles Up Germans. I suspect the Germans didn't like those bottles at all.
More later
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Kerfuffles?
WHEN I CAME ACROSS this sentence just now, I was pleased to see it; I like new words. And I had to go to the dictionary.
There have been three public kerfuffles over rules violations in recent years.
n
Informal chiefly Brit commotion; disorder; agitation
vb
(tr) Scot to put into disorder or disarray; ruffle or disarrange
[from Scottish curfuffle, carfuffle, from Scottish Gaelic car twist, turn + fuffle to disarrange]
They might have used scuffles instead of kerfuffles.
As always, more later.
Monday, February 1, 2010
An Oops! headline
Someone made a mistake with the headline for the story on the NFL Pro Bowl. The Atlanta Journal-Constitution wanted to highlight Matt Schaub, a former quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons, and Roddy White, a current wide receiver for the Falcons. So they mixed and matched, and made a mistake.
The headline says Schaub helps AFC beat NFC 41-34 in Pro Bowl, and the drop-head is He has eight catches for 84 yards. The drop-head's purpose is to flesh-out the main head, but the wrong guy is fleshed-out in this case.
It was White, not Schaub, who had the eight catches for 84 yards, so it's obvious the main headline started out about White and was changed to Schaub and they didn't change the drop-head.
I'm not ragging on the AJC. Folks make mistakes, and I suspect it happened when the story was sent to the AJC's web site.
More later.
The old perfessor
YOU MIGHT CHECK OUT the Old Perfessor blog of Keith Cannon, a friendly acquaintance of mine who is a journalism professor at Wingate University in NC. Keith and I are both fans of good journalism and great sports, and he writes about both.
More later.
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