Normally, I avoid cute headlines, but I kinda liked this one:
Eagles stuck between a rock and last place
The Philadelphia Eagles made significant additions to their team this year, and they opened the season with dreams of being a "Dream Team." That's gone down the tubes; I think they're 1-4 to open the season and are in last place in the NFC East.
So the headline, a play on "rock and a hard place," seems to fit.