Tuesday, June 28, 2016

The wrong person

FOUND ONLINE: I think GQ did a fascinating profile of Hope Hicks, the 27-year-daughter of former NFL PR exec Paul Hicks, who is the accidental press secretary for presumptive Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump.

This sentence makes it look like Paul Hicks is working for Trump. Obviously, Hope Hicks works for Trump. You'd be better off breaking this into two sentences and just say that Hope Hicks is the daughter of former NFL PR exec Paul Hicks.

FROM A QUOTE FOUND ONLINE: "There will be less returns.”
Actually, there will be fewer kickoff returns. 

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Saturday, June 25, 2016

Can also return punts

FOUND ONLINE: Whalen can also return punts, and has 46 career returns to his credit, as well.

Wordy; we can put these thoughts together.

Whalen has returned 46 punts during his career.

ALSO FOUND ONLINE: For the time being it looks like the Bills are content to ride out the year with Tyrod Taylor under center, who did go to the Pro Bowl for what it’s worth.


The sentence is wordy, and they've separated Tyrod Taylor from the part where he was a Pro Bowl player.

It looks like the Bills are content to ride out the year with Tyrod Taylor, who did make the Pro Bowl, for what it's worth.

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ENTRIES FROM THE DOG BLOG

BLOG ENTRIES FROM THE AUTO RACING JOURNAL
(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)
(the book of great NASCAR stories)