Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Making plans

Headline found online: Miami Dolphins coach Joe Philbin, coordinators makes plans for bye week


I believe that would be "make plans for bye week."

Super-long sentence: I just found this sentence online.

Think of the new computer that just came online at the NCAR-Wyoming Supercomputing Center in Cheyenne, Wyoming as a kind of dream come true from a meteorological standpoint, then, because it represents a mammoth increase in raw crunch-prowess, dedicated to studying everything from hurricanes and tornadoes to geomagnetic storms, tsunamis, wildfires, air pollution and the location of water beneath the earth’s surface.


Yes, that's ONE sentence, and they know better. I'd put a period after "... meteorological standpoint," add a transition and start a new sentence.


Think of the new computer that just came online at the NCAR-Wyoming Supercomputing Center in Cheyenne, Wyoming as a kind of dream come true from a meteorological standpoint. Why? It represents a mammoth increase in raw crunch-prowess, dedicated to studying everything from hurricanes and tornadoes to geomagnetic storms, tsunamis, wildfires, air pollution and the location of water beneath the earth’s surface.


It's not a major change, but at least your eyes don't glaze over when you try to read it.

I do like the use of "mammoth increase," though. It seems appropriate and gets the idea across of something really big.



Contact: I can be reached at tgilli52@gmail.com or nc3022@yahoo.com. Also, my Twitter handle is EDITORatWORK.

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