Wednesday, April 18, 2012

A tighter sentence

Found online: Over his past four games, the 28-year-old Reimold has sparked the Orioles offense — hitting home runs in each of those games — his latest a two-run shot that broke a scoreless tie in the sixth Tuesday and helped the Orioles to a 3-2 win over the White Sox at U.S. Cellular Field.

We could cut out some of that sentence. You don't need "has sparked the Orioles offense."


The 28-year-old Reimold has homered in the last four games, including a two-run shot that broke a scoreless tie in the sixth Tuesday and helped the Orioles beat the White Sox 3-2 at U.S. Cellular Field.


"Orioles offense" got cut out of that sentence, but I wonder if it should be "Orioles' offense." 

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