Showing posts with label too many words. Show all posts
Showing posts with label too many words. Show all posts

Thursday, February 25, 2016

THE REASON

FOUND ON FACEBOOK: I think the reason we're born with two hands is so that we can pet two dogs at once.

I accepted this at first; then I realized it's wordy. If you cut out "the reason", "is" and "that", it means the same thing.

I think we're born with two hands so we can pet two dogs at once.

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ENTRIES FROM THE DOG BLOG

BLOG ENTRIES FROM THE AUTO RACING JOURNAL
(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)
(the book of great NASCAR stories)

Saturday, February 20, 2016

Secure the acquisition

FOUND ONLINE: Following the 2008 season, the Miami Dolphins were able to secure the acquisition of a player who would eventually become the face of the franchise.

Why not say that the Dolphins acquired a player? "Secure the acquisition of a player" is word overkill.

ALSO FOUND ONLINE: A roundup and compilation of all the expert's mock drafts in beautiful pie charts
.
There's more than one expert, so that should be plural.

A roundup and compilation of all the experts' mock drafts in beautiful pie charts.

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ENTRIES FROM THE DOG BLOG

BLOG ENTRIES FROM THE AUTO RACING JOURNAL
(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)
(the book of great NASCAR stories)