Today's editing...

Needs editing, maybe: I thought this needed editing when I first saw it; now, I'm not too sure. “I’ll never buy again,” said the veteran Nets guard Keyon Dooling, who rents the downtown Orlando condominium he bought in 2005 to a Magic player.

What bothered me was "the downtown Orlando condominium he bought in 2005 to a Magic player." I had to re-read it once or twice to understand it.

If I rewrote that section, it might become, "who bought a downtown Orlando condominium in 2005 and now rents it to a Magic player." Just so you'll know, the Orlando Magic and New Jersey Nets are NBA teams.

One unit: The Lions put up impressive numbers last weekend, though they might not be able to penetrate the Packers defense, who haven’t allowed a rusher to reach the 100-yard mark since Week 3.

The part of this sentence that bothers me is "the Packers defense, who haven't..." I'd change that to "the Packers' defense, which hasn't..." I think you need the apostrophe. And although the Packers' defense is a group of individuals, it's a unit. It needs "which" rather than "who."

Not my name: I found this on Sports Illustrated's web site -- En route to their second consecutive 100-loss season, Washington endured the additional indignity of taking the field in April with their team name misspelled "Natinals" on the front of their jerseys. Uniform make Majestic Athletic apologized for the error.

They could have used a good editor.

More later.

Seasons greetings

Happy holidays: Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! (I almost wrote Happy Halloween)

Looking infinitely: I was just reading a Cosmos magazine story about the possibility of there being something large (another universe?) outside the known universe. I didn't realize we knew how big the universe was. Anyway, this Albert Einstein quote seemed appropriate for the occasion.

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

Here's another quote about an infinite universe, this one by Woody Allen:

"Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things."

You can find more thoughts on the universe at mapping.com.

Desk work: I'm helping put out the sports section for the local newspaper tonight. Yes, we're going to have Thanksgiving dinner, and we'll have to deal with three NFL games, including one that starts at 8:20 p.m.). Our deadline is usually 12:30 a.m. on Thursday night, and we may only get in the score or something short.

It's been a madhouse for a while. I plowed through several files, including a Wake Forest-North Carolina soccer advance, a follow on Wednesday night's Carolina Hurricanes hockey game, and a tennis story featuring a loss by Roger Federer (something that doesn't happen often). I've also been working on the college-basketball roundup, and I put together an NFL notebook. The Who will perform at halftime of the 2010 Super Bowl.

I edited the Carolina Panthers feature as well as the heart-warming story of a Down Syndrome boy who got to score a touchdown for his high school's freshman team. My headline said that football gave the boy his magic moment.

I had to search down a women's game on the Internet, and I finally put together the college-basketball roundup.

We're getting close. More later.

A fast edit...

Needs editing: “He was never as good as everybody said he was,” the former quarterback Trent Dilfer, now an ESPN analyst, said Monday.

I don't like splitting up attribution. This would read better as “He was never as good as everybody said he was,” said Trent Dilfer, a former quarterback and now an ESPN analyst. I took out Monday; it's not necessary.

More later.

Editing the Titans...

Needs editing: Sigh. I like some things about the coming paragraph. Hey, I agree with what the guy is saying; Vince Young has done a terrific job since getting to play again.

But this is W-A-A-Y too long.

He has a $4.25 million roster bonus due in 2010, along with a $7.5 million salary. But with the way he is handling himself on and off the field, with all Tennessee has already invested in him, how much owner Bud Adams supports him and wants him to succeed, the way the offense has flowed with him under center, his unique skill set and newfound maturity and appreciation for the game, he is looking every bit the part. Talking to scouts who have watched him recently, they point to his maturity, confidence, willingness to take what the defense gives him, and his restraint from forcing the ball. All of that serves him well.

That middle sentence is a monster, but the writer could have done more with the last sentence, which starts "Talking to scouts..."

The beginning of that sentence could be "Scouts point to his maturity..." We assume the scouts have watched him recently; you don't need to say it. The writer is just showing off the fact that he's talked to scouts. Big deal. I'm not sure about the "looked the part" phrase. The writer could have found a better way to say that. Hey, Vince Young may be the future of the Titans. He was meant to be.

A point: I know this is nitpicking, but I want to make a point.

After watching Matt Ryan toss two more interceptions in the Falcons' 28-19 loss to the Panthers on Sunday, league observers are starting to wonder if the 2008 Offensive Rookie of the Year is suffering from a sophomore slump.

You don't need "league observers"; "observers" will do. We assume you're not asking some guy at Joe's bar. Why bring this up? Every word is suspect; use only the ones that are necessary and move the article forward.

Also, "suffering from a sophomore slump" could become "in a sophomore slump." Remember: Write tight.

More later.

Early start...

Needs editing: This was found online today -- Washington spoke to local news media for the first time Thursday since he had surgery to repair a double fracture in his right leg, a grotesque injury that included both a broken tibia and fibular bone last month at Oakland.

Forget the grotesque injury; the problem in this sentence is up front, and it has all to do with the date. If you change it to Washington spoke to local news media Thursday for the first time since he had surgery..., it's easier to read. And it doesn't sound like he had surgery on Thursday.

Desk work: I'm helping put out the sports section again tonight, and I've already edited the Wake Forest women's basketball story, the golf roundup and one or two other things. I also edited the Duke-Radford story; Radford, my alma mater, lost by 37 points. Gee, thanks.

I'm putting together the top-25 college football roundup and the auto-racing notebook.

It's been busy here so far. I edited the Winston-Salem State loss to Norfolk State as well as the Sprint Cup advance, and I'll have to shoehorn the college top 25 roundup when we get the three late games.

I love this quote from Alabama-Birmingham coach Neil Callaway after a loss to East Carolina: “It’s disappointing, and we’re disappointed.” Ya think?

The Mary Garber basketball tournament is being played today, and we've taken a few games, but we need more. I took one high-school basketball game myself.

I just finished up the NHL roundup that someone else started, and I've handled other stories as they've come into rim. I've been spell-checking stories while working on them. I find the occasional typo that way.

We're still waiting for two college games.

We got the Texas game, but Oregon and Arizona finished too late to get into the paper. I had trimmed the football roundup so I could get two games in there. With the Oregon game MIA, I used two paragraphs of the Texas game.

Proofs have been read. We're done, just at our midnight deadline; we're outta here.

Tough read

Needs editing: I found this lead in a NY Post story --

In 2004, seven-times-mar ried Las Vegas stripper- turned-happy-housewife Marjorie Orbin's husband went missing.

His family and friends were frantic. Marjorie wasn't.

I love the second paragraph, but the first graph is tough to read. They want to get the seven-times-married and the Las Vegas stripper-turned-happy housewife all in one sentence -- hey, it's titillating -- but it's hard to read. The thing is, the sentence isn't even about the suddenly happy former stripper; it's about her husband going missing.

They didn't even bother to make married one word; it's two.

Without the multiple marriages and the stripper in there, it's a pretty pedestrian lede, although, overall, it's a pretty good story. I love the part about the guy looking for gold and finding death. Well done.

But I'm not even sure how to fix the lede, at least the way the NY Post staff would like. I'll ruminate.

Today's quote: "Little progress can be made by merely attempting to repress what is evil; our great hope lies in developing what is good." - Calvin Coolidge

I wonder where that leaves Batman.

More later.

Shifting gears

In 1990, I was the auto-racing writer in Charleston, S.C., and life was good. I was in Daytona Beach for the summer race; I'd written my lead story on Bill Elliott and my notebook on Darrell Waltrip starting his 400th career race, and I thought I'd head outside to get a few extra quotes. I was freelancing for Winston Cup Scene and you never knew what you'd find.

I walked outside and saw a plumb of smoke in turn four, white against a lovely blue sky. I hurried to pit road to see what was the matter -- there was a clatter of activity -- and there was the No. 17 car (DW's) sitting there with a mashed hood and smoke pillowing upward.

Oh, oh! I could see my lead and notebook going up in smoke.

I hurried down there, found that Darrell and whoever he wrecked with (Dave Marcis, I think) were fine and got a few quotes.

I rushed back to the press center and made the Bill Elliott story my feature for Sunday. Naturally, I made the Darrell Waltrip piece my lead story for the next day, and I reworked my notebook so I had a lede (newspaper parlance for the lead of a story) note to replace DW.

As I recall, there was more to it than a wreck. I don't think they used radios in practice back then, and this wreck may have produced a rule that forced Cup teams to use radios during practice. Perhaps that came out while we were writing; maybe it came later. I don't remember.

I didn't rush, but within an hour and a half after I saw the smoke, the stories were done. I'd used my copy-editing skills to craft what I'd already written into something almost totally different.

The guys at the News and Courier (it would become the Post and Courier a couple of years later) probably had no idea what I went through, and they wouldn't have cared.

It was the first time I'd had to deal with something like that, and I found it exhilarating. I was dealing with "breaking news" of the sports kind, and I didn't mind the extra work at all.

It was a good weekend all around. Elliott and Waltrip both raced on Saturday, I filed my stories for Sunday, then stopped somewhere in northern Florida and watched "The Jetsons" movie. Then I ate somewhere and headed home.

I expected the extra work to be a pain in the butt. Instead, it was fun.