Tuesday, September 19, 2017

The size of a thumb

FOUND IN A NOVEL: One was a small black cylindrical object about the size of a thumb, with one end narrowly ridged, like a coin.

Why say "small" and "the size of a thumb" in the same sentence? You wouldn't say "large" and "the size of a thumb."

The writer, one of my favorites, could have said this:

One was a thumb-sized black cylindrical object, with one end narrowly ridged, like a coin.

EMAIL: tgilli52@gmail.com TWITTER: EDITORatWORK

Entries from The Dog Blog

Blog entries from The Auto Racing Journal
(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)
(the book of great NASCAR stories)

More blog entries by Tom Gillispie

Sunday, September 17, 2017

That's one look too many

FOUND ONLINE: Look, Rivers and Gates have done that to a lot of players. But that wasn’t the only play Allen gave up. He also dropped a would-be interception in the end zone later in the third quarter. Look, I’m not trying to pick on him here.

Normally, I wouldn't even mention this, but I hate it when someone says "look" (or something similar) twice in the middle of a paragraph. That's one "look" too many.

ALSO FOUND ONLINE: “Obviously the loudest road came at the end after the missed field goal,” Rivers said.


The writer meant the loudest roar.


EMAIL: tgilli52@gmail.com TWITTER: EDITORatWORK

Entries from The Dog Blog

Blog entries from The Auto Racing Journal
(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)
(the book of great NASCAR stories)

More blog entries by Tom Gillispie