Saturday, August 19, 2017

Coldly announced

FOUND ONLINE: “The President and First Lady have decided not to participate in this year’s activities to allow the honorees to celebrate without any political distraction,” coldly announced the White House early in the AM today regarding the 40th Honors. “First Lady Melania Trump, along with her husband President Donald J. Trump, extend their sincerest congratulations and well wishes to all of this year’s award recipients for their many accomplishments,” the fleeing statement added.

I would say that the White House coldly announced, rather than the way they did it. Also, I wonder if the writer meant fleeting rather than fleeing. And if I could edit a direct statement, I'd say First Lady Melania Trump and President Donald J. Trump... We already know that the first lady is married to the president.

The President and First Lady have decided not to participate in this year’s activities to allow the honorees to celebrate without any political distraction,” the White House coldly announced early in the AM today regarding the 40th Honors. “First Lady Melania Trump, along with her husband President Donald J. Trump, extend their sincerest congratulations and well wishes to all of this year’s award recipients for their many accomplishments,” the fleeting statement added.

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Thursday, August 17, 2017

But, Gingrich added

FOUND ONLINE: “It's clear Kelly is having a stabilising and organising influence on the White House,” said Newt Gingrich, a former Republican House speaker and informal Trump adviser. But, Gingrich added, “He will gradually have an impact on Trump but it won't be immediate. There are parts of Trump that are almost impossible to manage.”

I'd make a few minor tweaks. I'd get rid of "But," before Gingrich added and move Gingrich added. I'd also add a comma between Trump and but.

Or you could take out "Gingrich added" altogether.

“It's clear Kelly is having a stabilising and organising influence on the White House,” said Newt Gingrich, a former Republican House speaker and informal Trump adviser. “(Kelly) will gradually have an impact on Trump, but it won't be immediate. There are parts of Trump that are almost impossible to manage.”

EMAIL: tgilli52@gmail.com TWITTER: EDITORatWORK

Entries from The Dog Blog

Blog entries from The Auto Racing Journal
(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)
(the book of great NASCAR stories)

More blog entries by Tom Gillispie