Thursday, December 14, 2017

Strokes and periods

FOUND ONLINE: Even as late as 1900, before the advent of antibiotics, Americans “could primarily expect to die from pneumonia, influenza, tuberculosis, gastrointestinal infections, heart disease and cerebrovascular disease (strokes.)”

The only problem I see here is the period. I'd move it between the parenthesis and the quote mark. The period goes for the whole sentence not just (strokes).

Even as late as 1900, before the advent of antibiotics, Americans “could primarily expect to die from pneumonia, influenza, tuberculosis, gastrointestinal infections, heart disease and cerebrovascular disease (strokes).


FROM THE SAME ARTICLE: He couldn’t take either and nearly died of suffocation while attempting to using them.

I'd change using to use.

He couldn’t take either and nearly died of suffocation while attempting to use them.

EMAIL: tgilli52@gmail.com TWITTER: EDITORatWORK


Entries from The Dog Blog

Blog entries from The Auto Racing Journal
(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)
(the book of great NASCAR stories)

More blog entries by Tom Gillispie

Sunday, December 10, 2017

Grew up in that New Jersey city

FOUND ONLINE: The son of a Newark dentist, Robert Ellenstein grew up in that New Jersey city and saw his father go on to become its two-term mayor.

There's a shorter way to say this.

Robert Ellenstein grew up in Newark, N.J., and saw his dentist father go on to become Newark's two-term mayor.

EMAIL: tgilli52@gmail.com TWITTER: EDITORatWORK


Entries from The Dog Blog

Blog entries from The Auto Racing Journal
(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)
(the book of great NASCAR stories)

More blog entries by Tom Gillispie