Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Until joining Trump's Cabinet

FOUND ONLINE: Handel and Ossoff are vying to fill the seat vacated by Tom Price, who had held it since 2005, until joining Trump's Cabinet as health and human services secretary earlier this year.

The writer is trying to do too much with one sentence/paragraph. I'd split it up. Also, I'm not sure that cabinet needs to be uppercase.

Handel and Ossoff are vying for the seat vacated by Tom Price, who had held it since 2005. Price joined Trump's cabinet as health and human services secretary earlier this year.

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Right of passage

FOUND ONLINE: Late on Wednesday it was almost like a right of passage or an initiation for DeVante Parker.

Sigh. It's rite of passage.


FROM THE SAME STORY: Xavien Howard who was taxed to cover him has also held his own at times.


It's tasked, not taxed. Also, I'd put commas after Howard and him.


Xavien Howard, who was tasked to cover him, has also held his own at times.


I'd probably just say "who had to cover him."

YET ANOTHER ERROR: With so many new players on defense this can serve well in an effort to get everyone accustomed to one and other.

The writer meant one another, not one and other.

EMAIL: tgilli52@gmail.com TWITTER: EDITORatWORK

Entries from The Dog Blog

Blog entries from The Auto Racing Journal
(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)
(the book of great NASCAR stories)

More blog entries by Tom Gillispie