Monday, December 26, 2011

Could be tighter...

Found online: Rodgers threw a pair of touchdown passes to Jordy Nelson, another two to James Jones, and found tight end Jermichael Finley for a score.

Let's tighten it up:

Rodgers threw two touchdown passes each to Jordy Nelson and  James Jones, plus one to tight end Jermichael Finley.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Kicking off the NBA?

Found online: The NBA is kicking off its second non-82-game regular season in the past 13 years on Christmas.

I don't think so. You don't kick off basketball; you tip off the season.

Monday, December 19, 2011

Grammar Guide

New blog: If you're into grammar you might check out Pam Nelson's Grammar Guide on the American Copy Editors Society's web site. Yes, I am a member of ACES.

Brain power

Is it singular or plural: Check this headline just found online...

Students use their brain to build a car

Since there's more than one student, shouldn't it be brains rather than brain?

From the same story: Wykoff remained tight-lipped about the car and would only reveal that its energy will derive from solar power.

That's nice, but why not just say " will run on solar power"?

Contact: You can reach me at or nc3022@yahoo.comAlso, my Twitter handle is EDITORatWORK.

Entries from The Dog Blog
Blog entries from The Auto Racing Journal
(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)
(the book of great NASCAR stories)

More blog entries by Tom Gillispie

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

A better way to say it...

Needs editing: “I got in the game and I wanted to prove I belong here,” said the 6-foot-1, 213-pound Royster, who on Washington’s final drive received two carries and picked up 14 yards on the first and six yards on the second.

That dependent clause at the end could use help:

... Royster, who had carries for 14 and six yards on Washington’s final drive.

Another CSI: The Crime Scene Investigation (CSI) TV shows are popular (I like them, too). I just found another CSI ... the College of Southern Idaho. CSI sounded familiar for some reason.

More later.

More editing/writing blog entries

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Dirty advertising?

Years ago, I was working for a newspaper, and someone brought in what we called the pre-prints (which were printed earlier in the week).

I opened an inside page, and an advertisement in giant type jumped out at me. There were six words in the ad, three on each page. You'd read from left to right, so you were switching back and forth from page to page.

If you read the whole ad, it was pretty innocuous. If you read just the left page from top to bottom, it looked like a sexual comment or suggestion.

I told someone on news side, and they called the ad director at home. He laughed -- he saw some humor in it -- and said that there was nothing he could do. He later showed the advertiser, who turned red, I heard.

They changed the ad before they ran it again. Several people wanted to cut out that left-hand page and put it on the wall of their cubicles, but I understand that was quickly quashed.

The moral? Yes, they could have used an editor.

More editing/writing blog entries