Tuesday, December 29, 2009

A more emphatic way to say it

POSSIBLE EDIT: “He wants the same things I do,” Holmgren said. “We want the team to be better, we want to win, we want the fans to feel good, we’re going after the same thing.”

Most editors would leave this as it is. But there's a more emphatic way to say it.

“He wants the same things I do,” Holmgren said. “We want the team to be better; we want to win; we want the fans to feel good.

"We’re going after the same thing.”


Contact: Reach me at tgilli52@gmail.com or nc3022@yahoo.com.

(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)
(the book of great NASCAR stories)

More blog entries by Tom Gillispie

Anecdotes by Tom Gillispie

Monday, December 28, 2009

Today's first edit...

NEEDS EDITING? "They've learned to play under pressure, and I think that’s important. It'll come in handy when we get to the playoffs,'' said Phillips, who was without special teams coach Joe DeCamillis after the latter had an emergency appendicitis yesterday.


Maybe it's just me, but I think he needed an emergency appendectomy, not an emergency appendicitis.

Here's another edit in the same story:


They posting posted three sacks, and an interception and not letting didn't let Washington cross the 23-yard line all night. , throttling They throttled the Redskins as blue-clad Cowboy fans celebrated in FedEx.



Contact: Reach me at tgilli52@gmail.com or nc3022@yahoo.com.

(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)
(the book of great NASCAR stories)

More blog entries by Tom Gillispie

Anecdotes by Tom Gillispie