Showing posts with label book editing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label book editing. Show all posts

Friday, May 28, 2021

TRAFFIC TICKET ISSUES

FOUND IN A NOVEL: An unpaid traffic ticket issued by the sheriff's department had been issued by D. Fincher.

I'd change this sentence fragment this way:

An unpaid traffic ticket issued by D. Fincher of the sheriff's department.

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ENTRIES FROM THE DOG BLOG

BLOG ENTRIES FROM THE AUTO RACING JOURNAL
(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)
(the book of great NASCAR stories)

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

The size of a thumb

FOUND IN A NOVEL: One was a small black cylindrical object about the size of a thumb, with one end narrowly ridged, like a coin.

Why say "small" and "the size of a thumb" in the same sentence? You wouldn't say "large" and "the size of a thumb."

The writer, one of my favorites, could have said this:

One was a thumb-sized black cylindrical object, with one end narrowly ridged, like a coin.

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ENTRIES FROM THE DOG BLOG

BLOG ENTRIES FROM THE AUTO RACING JOURNAL
(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)
(the book of great NASCAR stories)