Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Four in number

Found in a novel: The riders were four in number, and they came swiftly.

 This is one of my favorite writers, but he got wordy at times.

 Rewrite: The four riders came swiftly.
Contact: Reach me at tgilli52@gmail.com or nc3022@yahoo.com.

(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)
(the book of great NASCAR stories)

More blog entries by Tom Gillispie

Anecdotes by Tom Gillispie

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Friday, October 25, 2013

During his career

Found online: "I do have a lot of interests and things in the future I want to do outside of basketball," said Hill, who played 18 NBA seasons and averaged 16.7 points, 6.0 rebounds and 4.1 assists during his career.

I'd change the last part of this sentence:

 "I do have a lot of interests and things in the future I want to do outside of basketball," said Hill, who averaged 16.7 points, 6.0 rebounds and 4.1 assists during his 18 NBA seasons.
Contact: Reach me at tgilli52@gmail.com or nc3022@yahoo.com.

(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)
(the book of great NASCAR stories)

More blog entries by Tom Gillispie

Anecdotes by Tom Gillispie

Posted by at No comments:
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