Saturday, October 29, 2011

In the first

This sentence about the World Series makes me wonder -- The first four Rangers batters of the game reached base against him in the first, but Carpenter escaped with only two runs scoring, and the Rangers would not score again.

Since you have "first four Rangers batters of the game" early in the sentence, do you need "in the first"? They'd have to be in the first inning.

Blog: I just found an interesting blog entry about adviser and advisor. I didn't realize that anyone spelled it with an "o".

Too much: The writer has packed too much information in this sentence...

Veteran Cardinals ace, and former Cy Young winner, Chris Carpenter, the workhorse who won his second game of the series in Game 7, called a meeting.

I'd call piling on and give him a 15-yard penalty. He would be better off saving "and former Cy Young winner" for another sentence.

Veteran Cardinals ace Chris Carpenter, who got his second win of the series in Game 7, called a meeting.

More later.

EMAIL: tgilli52@gmail.com TWITTER: EDITORatWORK

(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)
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Anecdotes by Tom Gillispie

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Baloney vs. bologna

I just found an online phrase that says "... see right through your bologna..."

The writer wasn't talking about the meat in one of my favorite sandwiches; he/she was talking about baloney. And it should have been written that way.

Otherwise, the writing is just baloney.


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Wednesday, October 26, 2011

At the track

Found online: Johnson’s car passed inspection after the race at the track.

Why state the obvious? Where else would the race be?

Johnson’s car passed inspection after the race.

Contact: I can be reached at tgilli52@gmail.com or nc3022@yahoo.com. Also, my Twitter handle is EDITORatWORK.


Anecdotes by Tom Gillispie


Entries from The Dog Blog

Blog entries from The Auto Racing Journal
(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)
(the book of great NASCAR stories)