A tighter lead sentence

Found online: Andrew Luck  knows he's the starter in Indianapolis and Robert Griffin III knows he's the starter in Washington.

I'd tighten that lead sentence:

Andrew Luck (Colts) and Robert Griffin III (Redskins) know they're NFL starters.

No, the sentence doesn't need to be this tight; I'm making a point. You don't have to be wordy.

More SpeedEditor blog entries

• You really DO need an editor

• Reminders for would-be novelists

• What I do when I'm editing

• Slogging through the Internet

• J-school: More eyes on your stories

• J-school: Go out and learn

• Rookie mistakes for magazine writers

• Writers' questions for an editor

Blog entries on The Auto Racing Journal:

• Angel in Black: Remembering Dale Earnhardt Sr.

(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)

• Then Junior Said to Jeff...

(the book of great NASCAR stories)

• My best day as a sports writer

• Jeff Gordon's milk toast to Dale Earnhardt

• Wayne Auton: A life in racing

More blog entries by Tom Gillispie

• Resume for a writer and editor

• An editor's views on powerful writing

• Advice for be and would-be novelists

• Links to TG's stories online

• Favorite quotes

• What I do when I'm editing

Anecdotes by Tom Gillispie

• Wipeout at Death Valley

• Days with rainbows

• A desperate writer working in the dark

• Yer outta there