Paring the defensive lineman

FOUND ONLINE: Paring the defensive lineman with Ndamukong Suh would make the defensive line better and Miami could afford to move Earl Mitchell to a back-up role or even release him all together.

I assume they meant "pairing" and wrote "paring." I hope so.

Also, I'd cut out "all together." It reads the same either way.

Finally, I'd change "the defensive line" to "the line"; you already had "defensive lineman" earlier in the sentence.

Pairing the defensive lineman with Ndamukong Suh would make the line better and Miami could afford to move Earl Mitchell to a back-up role or even release him.

CONTACT: I can be reached at tgilli52@gmail.com or nc3022@yahoo.com. Also, my Twitter handle is EDITORatWORK.

More EDITOR@WORK blog entries

• You really DO need an editor

• Reminders for would-be novelists

• What I do when I'm editing

• What I charge (it's a deal) and what I edit

• Slogging through the Internet

• J-school: More eyes on your stories

• J-school: Go out and learn

• Rookie mistakes for magazine writers
•  Editor with no experience

Blog entries by Tom Gillispie

• Resume for a writer and editor

• An editor's views on powerful writing

• Advice for be and would-be novelists

• Links to TG's stories online

• Favorite quotes

• What I do when I'm editing

Anecdotes by Tom Gillispie

• Good Samaritan

• The PRESS cap and my friend Mike

• Watching TV

• No luck with Billy Sims

• Wipeout at Death Valley

• Days with rainbows

• A desperate writer working in the dark

• Yer outta there!

Entries from The Dog Blog

• Katie cried

• Growl and pull

• ... said the spider to ...

• The Dog Diary (2015)

• The Dog Diary (2014)

• 12-plus years with my dog Lady

• OOH! OOH! The stereophonic huskies

• What Lady and Michael Jackson had in common

Blog entries from The Auto Racing Journal

• Angel in Black: Remembering Dale Earnhardt Sr.

(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)

• Then Junior Said to Jeff...

(the book of great NASCAR stories)

• My best day as a sports writer

• Jeff Gordon's milk toast to Dale Earnhardt

• Wayne Auton: A life in racing

Moving the name

Found online: A right-handed pitcher from Northern Virginia, Doyle played a supporting role in 2015.

I'd move his name to the front:

Doyle, a right-handed pitcher from Northern Virginia, played a supporting role in 2015.

It's a minor change, but it works for me.

From the same article: Doyle, who stands 6-6, has added about 15 pounds since the end of last season. He now weighs 230. 

I'd change the beginning of that first sentence:

The 6-6 Doyle has added about 15 pounds since the end of last season. He now weighs 230. 

It probably sounds like I'm nitpicking, but it doesn't slow the flow of the article.

From another article: Team GM and executive vice president John Elway has brought respect to the organization.

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/sports/spt-columns-blogs/armando-salguero/article57813753.html#storylink=cpy

Again, I'd move the name to the front of the sentence, this time to get rid of that stack in front of it.

John Elway, Denver's GM and executive vice president, has brought respect to the organization.

Read more here: http://www.miamiherald.com/sports/spt-columns-blogs/armando-salguero/article57813753.html#storylink=cpy

Links: On my web site, I have links to some of my stories online.

EMAIL: tgilli52@gmail.com TWITTER: EDITORatWORK

More EDITOR@WORK blog entries

• You really DO need an editor

• Reminders for would-be novelists

• What I do when I'm editing

• What I charge (it's a deal) and what I edit

• Slogging through the Internet

• J-school: More eyes on your stories

• J-school: Go out and learn

• Rookie mistakes for magazine writers

Entries from The Dog Blog

• Katie cried

• Growl and pull

• 13-plus years with my dog Lady

• ... said the spider to ...

• The Dog Diary (2014)

• YIP! YIP! The stereo-sound huskies

• What Lady and Michael Jackson had in common

Blog entries from The Auto Racing Journal

• Angel in Black: Remembering Dale Earnhardt Sr.

(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)

• Then Junior Said to Jeff...

(the book of great NASCAR stories)

• My best day as a sports writer

• Jeff Gordon's milk toast to Dale Earnhardt

• Wayne Auton: A life in racing

More blog entries by Tom Gillispie

• Resume for a writer and editor

• An editor's views on powerful writing

• Advice for be and would-be novelists

• Links to TG's stories online

• Favorite quotes

• What I do when I'm editing

Anecdotes by Tom Gillispie

• Wipeout at Death Valley

• Days with rainbows

• A desperate writer working in the dark

• Yer outta there!