EDITOR@WORK: March 2016

FOUND ONLINE: Don't fail to take advantage of this excellent value and sign up today.

I hate when an ad takes a negative approach. Also, I'd change "value" to "opportunity"; I just like the sound of that better.

Take advantage of this excellent opportunity; sign up today.

ALSO FOUND ONLINE: Uranus is the smallest of the gas giants in the outer solar system.

There are no gas giants in the inner solar system. The four outer planets (Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune) are all gas giants. The four inner planets (Mercury, Venus, Earth and Mars) are rocky planets.

FOUND ON FACEBOOK: Trash-talking can be a very effective tool to get inside the heads of your opponents.

A lot of people love "very," but I don't. Take out very here, and the sentence means the same thing.

EMAIL: tgilli52@gmail.com BLUESKY: PROFILE

MORE EDITOR@WORK BLOG ENTRIES

• You really DO need an editor

• Reminders for would-be novelists

• What I do when I'm editing

• What I charge (it's a deal) and what I edit

• Slogging through the Internet

• J-school: More eyes on your stories

• J-school: Go out and learn

• Rookie mistakes for magazine writers

BLOG ENTRIES BY TOM GILLISPIE

• Resume for a writer and editor

• An editor's views on powerful writing

• Advice for be and would-be novelists

• Links to TG's stories online

• Favorite quotes

• What I do when I'm editing

ANECDOTES BY TOM GILLISPIE

• Wipeout at Death Valley

• Days with rainbows

• A desperate writer working in the dark

• Yer OUTTA there!

ENTRIES FROM THE DOG BLOG

• Katie cried

• Growl and pull

• 13-plus years with my dog Lady

• ... said the spider to ...

• The Dog Diary (2014)

• YIP! YIP! The stereo-sound huskies

• What Lady and Michael Jackson had in common

BLOG ENTRIES FROM THE AUTO RACING JOURNAL

• Angel in Black: Remembering Dale Earnhardt Sr.

(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)

• Then Junior Said to Jeff...

(the book of great NASCAR stories)

• My best day as a sports writer

• Jeff Gordon's milk toast to Dale Earnhardt

• Wayne Auton: A life in racing

Thursday, March 24, 2016

Further trouble with farther

FOUND ONLINE: Gase went a step farther. He all but promised that whomever the Dolphins take with the 13 will start for the team this year.

This paragraph has three problems. Gase didn't go a step farther; he went a step further. Farther is about distance. Also, whomever the Dolphins take should be whoever. Finally, it's the 13th draft pick, not the 13.

Gase went a step further. He all but promised that whoever the Dolphins take with the 13th draft pick will start for the team this year.

FURTHER KNOWS BEST: With a chance to go farther than they ever did under predecessor Fred Holberg, they never could recover from a flat start in the arena where "The Mayor" now coaches the Chicago Bulls despite a rather fast tempo that was more to their liking.

Farther is distance, so further works here. Also, the writer is trying to do too much here, and I hate this run-on sentence. I'd find another place to put the thing about the arena.

FROM A SCIENCE STORY: In a presentation to the American Astronautical Society in February, NASA engineer Ronald Litchford laid out a development strategy for propelling spacecraft to the furthest edges of the Solar System — and beyond.

Because of what I just said — farther is distance — I have to wonder if the writer shouldn't have written farthest, not furthest.

ALSO FOUND ONLINE: Would work great for my wife and I with little changes.

You wouldn't say that it would work great for I; you'd say me.

EMAIL: tgilli52@gmail.com BLUESKY: PROFILE