Tuesday, September 19, 2017

The size of a thumb

FOUND IN A NOVEL: One was a small black cylindrical object about the size of a thumb, with one end narrowly ridged, like a coin.

Why say "small" and "the size of a thumb" in the same sentence? You wouldn't say "large" and "the size of a thumb."

The writer, one of my favorites, could have said this:

One was a thumb-sized black cylindrical object, with one end narrowly ridged, like a coin.

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Sunday, September 17, 2017

That's one look too many

FOUND ONLINE: Look, Rivers and Gates have done that to a lot of players. But that wasn’t the only play Allen gave up. He also dropped a would-be interception in the end zone later in the third quarter. Look, I’m not trying to pick on him here.

Normally, I wouldn't even mention this, but I hate it when someone says "look" (or something similar) twice in the middle of a paragraph. That's one "look" too many.

ALSO FOUND ONLINE: “Obviously the loudest road came at the end after the missed field goal,” Rivers said.


The writer meant the loudest roar.


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(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)
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