The size of a thumb

FOUND IN A NOVEL: One was a small black cylindrical object about the size of a thumb, with one end narrowly ridged, like a coin.

Why say "small" and "the size of a thumb" in the same sentence? You wouldn't say "large" and "the size of a thumb."

The writer, one of my favorites, could have said this:

One was a thumb-sized black cylindrical object, with one end narrowly ridged, like a coin.

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That's one look too many

FOUND ONLINE: Look, Rivers and Gates have done that to a lot of players. But that wasn’t the only play Allen gave up. He also dropped a would-be interception in the end zone later in the third quarter. Look, I’m not trying to pick on him here.

Normally, I wouldn't even mention this, but I hate it when someone says "look" (or something similar) twice in the middle of a paragraph. That's one "look" too many.

ALSO FOUND ONLINE: “Obviously the loudest road came at the end after the missed field goal,” Rivers said.

The writer meant the loudest roar.

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EMAIL: tgilli52@gmail.com  BLUESKY: PROFILE

MORE EDITOR@WORK BLOG ENTRIES

• You really DO need an editor

• Reminders for would-be novelists

• What I do when I'm editing

• What I charge (it's a deal) and what I edit

• Slogging through the Internet

• J-school: More eyes on your stories

• J-school: Go out and learn

• Rookie mistakes for magazine writers

BLOG ENTRIES BY TOM GILLISPIE

• Resume for a writer and editor

• An editor's views on powerful writing

• Advice for be and would-be novelists

• Links to TG's stories online

• Favorite quotes

• What I do when I'm editing

ANECDOTES BY TOM GILLISPIE

• Wipeout at Death Valley

• Days with rainbows

• A desperate writer working in the dark

• Yer OUTTA there!

ENTRIES FROM THE DOG BLOG

• Katie cried

• Growl and pull

• 13-plus years with my dog Lady

• ... said the spider to ...

• The Dog Diary (2014)

• YIP! YIP! The stereo-sound huskies

• What Lady and Michael Jackson had in common

BLOG ENTRIES FROM THE AUTO RACING JOURNAL

• Angel in Black: Remembering Dale Earnhardt Sr.

(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)

• Then Junior Said to Jeff...

(the book of great NASCAR stories)

• My best day as a sports writer

• Jeff Gordon's milk toast to Dale Earnhardt

• Wayne Auton: A life in racing