Where else would her expression be? On her elbow or knee? And this could be a little shorter.
Candy's face was expressionless. Or: Candy's face showed nothing.
FROM THE SAME NOVEL: There was blood on his chest and his eyes were wide and silent.
His eyes wouldn't be loud, even if he were alive. I think still, blank or not moving might have been better. I'd also put a comma after chest.
Let's do a little rewrite:
His chest was bloody, and his eyes were wide and unseeing.
More EDITOR@WORK blog entries
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(the book of great NASCAR stories)
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