Saturday, June 13, 2009

Parallel construction

PARALLEL PROBLEMS: Most of us have trouble with parallel construction at one time or another. We'll write a sentence that starts with pretty cars, statuesque women, and it goes into old houses in Greece.

In fact, there's a problem with my last sentence. It would be better if the sentence starts out about pretty cars and statuesque women, and it switches to old houses in Greece.


You can talk about the French, the Italians, Spanish and Portugal, but it's grammatically correct to discuss the French, the Italians, the Spanish and the Portuguese.


You don't say in spring, summer, or in winter. Parallel construction requires in spring, summer or winter, or it's in spring, in summer or in winter.


Was it a long ceremony and tedious, too? Maybe, but it's better to say that it was a long and tedious ceremony.


Joe thought the movie was boring, silly, and it was too long, too. True, but Joe thought the movie was boring, silly and too long works better.


I went outside because the sun was out, and it was warm, too. Yes, but I went outside because the sun was out, and it was warm.


Remember: Parallel construction usually requires fewer words, and you get to your point quickly. And that's always a good thing.


PROBLEM HEADLINE: I saw this interesting headline yesterday: NASCAR FANS CAN RECOGNIZE THEIR FATHERS WITH THE NASCAR HALL OF FAME COMMEMORATIVE BRICK PROGRAM.


The NASCAR Hall of Fame is simply giving race fans the opportunity to applaud or remember their fathers with a brick at the HofF. That's great. The problem with the headline, as I saw it when I opened the email, is that NASCAR FANS CAN RECOGNIZE THEIR FATHERS. Most of them recognize their fathers, whether they're in the program or not.


The headline isn't specific, and most newspaper editors would change it. It's also ALL-CAPS, and it's way too long. Actually, the drop head — Fans Can Celebrate Their Passion for the Sport and Give the Gift of Memories to Their Dads — is much better.



CONTACT: Email me at tgilli52@gmail.com or nc3022@yahoo.com. Also, my Twitter handle is EDITORatWORK.

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