Wednesday, February 17, 2010

A small edit...

THIS SENTENCE/PARAGRAPH GETS the idea across, but a small edit would make it better.
At No. 1, Shabaz whipped John-Patrick Smith, who came in ranked second nationally, 6-4, 6-4. 
You could change that to this:
At No. 1, Shabaz captured a 6-4, 6-4 win over John-Patrick Smith, who came in ranked second nationally.
 That way, you're not separating Shabaz from the score of his victory.

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