Rewriting a rout

A GAME STORY started this way on Saturday:

Ricky Stanzi threw three touchdown passes and No. 18 Iowa knocked fifth-ranked Michigan State from the ranks of the unbeaten in decisive fashion, stomping the Spartans 37-6 on Saturday.

I'd change it to this:

Ricky Stanzi threw three touchdown passes as No. 18 Iowa beat fifth-ranked Michigan State 37-6 on Saturday and knocked the Spartans from the ranks of the unbeaten.

It's a logical way to write it. You need to get the win in there first.

Or you could say they handed the Spartans their first loss.

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EMAIL: tgilli52@gmail.com  BLUESKY: PROFILE

MORE EDITOR@WORK BLOG ENTRIES

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• Reminders for would-be novelists

• What I do when I'm editing

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• J-school: Go out and learn

• Rookie mistakes for magazine writers

BLOG ENTRIES BY TOM GILLISPIE

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• Advice for be and would-be novelists

• Links to TG's stories online

• Favorite quotes

• What I do when I'm editing

ANECDOTES BY TOM GILLISPIE

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• Yer OUTTA there!

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