Trimming and reorganizing

THIS SENTENCE, found online today, needs trimming and reorganizing:

A tale of two handsomely talented quarterbacks produced high drama Sunday until Vick threw a first-down pass from the Green Bay 27 that was intercepted in the end zone with 33 seconds left by cornerback Tramon Williams.

Let's try it again:

A tale of two handsomely talented quarterbacks produced high drama Sunday until cornerback Tramon Williams intercepted Vick's first-down pass in the end zone with 33 seconds left.

I left out the fact that Vick's pass started out at the 27-yard line. Can't pack everything in one sentence.

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MORE EDITOR@WORK BLOG ENTRIES

• You really DO need an editor

• Reminders for would-be novelists

• What I do when I'm editing

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• Slogging through the Internet

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• J-school: Go out and learn

• Rookie mistakes for magazine writers

BLOG ENTRIES BY TOM GILLISPIE

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• Advice for be and would-be novelists

• Links to TG's stories online

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• What I do when I'm editing

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