Monday, January 10, 2011

Trimming and reorganizing

THIS SENTENCE, found online today, needs trimming and reorganizing:

A tale of two handsomely talented quarterbacks produced high drama Sunday until Vick threw a first-down pass from the Green Bay 27 that was intercepted in the end zone with 33 seconds left by cornerback Tramon Williams.

Let's try it again:

A tale of two handsomely talented quarterbacks produced high drama Sunday until cornerback Tramon Williams intercepted Vick's first-down pass in the end zone with 33 seconds left.

I left out the fact that Vick's pass started out at the 27-yard line. Can't pack everything in one sentence.

><

EMAIL: tgilli52@gmail.com  BLUESKY: PROFILE


ENTRIES FROM THE DOG BLOG

BLOG ENTRIES FROM THE AUTO RACING JOURNAL
(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)
(the book of great NASCAR stories)

No comments:

Post a Comment