Redundant writing

Found online: Although this move shocked many, it really was not too shocking to avid fan members. Bess possessed no elite qualities and his production can be easily replaced.

Yes, I understand “Mr. Third-down” was the most consistent “hands catcher” the Dolphins have had over his tenure with Miami, but the former undrafted free agent can be replaced.

Let's trim all of this down:

Although this move shocked many, it was understandable. Yes, “Mr. Third-down” was the most consistent “hands catcher” the Dolphins had over his tenure with Miami, but Bess possessed no elite qualities.

His production can be easily replaced.

Contact: You can reach me at tgilli52@gmail.com or nc3022@yahoo.com.

More EDITOR@WORK blog entries

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• Reminders for would-be novelists

• What I do when I'm editing

• What I charge (it's a deal) and what I edit

• Slogging through the Internet

• J-school: More eyes on your stories

• J-school: Go out and learn

• Rookie mistakes for magazine writers

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• The Dog Diary (2014)

• YIP! YIP! The stereo-sound huskies

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More blog entries by Tom Gillispie

• Resume for a writer and editor

• An editor's views on powerful writing

• Advice for be and would-be novelists

• Links to TG's stories online

• Favorite quotes

• What I do when I'm editing

Anecdotes by Tom Gillispie

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• A desperate writer working in the dark

• Yer outta there!