Thursday, June 3, 2010

Where was it?

I JUST SAW A STORY in which a woman had a smile on her face. That's what the writer wrote; "There was a smile on her face." Where else would it be? On her butt?

It reminds me of reading something like "Joe Blow went to work with a jammed finger on his hand."

Yes, he had a jammed finger on his hand. Where else would it be? On his head? If he'd said "left hand," that would have been fine. More information and welcome. But he didn't.

Similarly, I read a novel recently in which the writer wrote "He looked back and waved his hand." Again, what else would he have waved? His left ear?

There's always a simple and powerful way to say something. The first woman was smiling; the second guy had a jammed finger; the third guy waved. End of story.
Contact: Reach me at tgilli52@gmail.com or nc3022@yahoo.com.

(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)
(the book of great NASCAR stories)

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