Monday, June 13, 2011

Needs an edit

THIS COMBINATION is awkward.

Green Bay's 11-year right tackle sprained his shoulder blocking an extra point in Week 4 against Detroit and was eventually placed on injured reserve.

The veteran Packer is taking a wait-and-see approach.

We can tell from the first paragraph that the player is an 11-year tackle; he's obviously a veteran. I'd change that second sentence to this:

He's taking a wait-and-see approach.

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ENTRIES FROM THE DOG BLOG

BLOG ENTRIES FROM THE AUTO RACING JOURNAL
(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)
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