A horrible stacked modifier

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I hate stacked modifiers. Take this:

They have one more against the Angels on Sunday and then try to ruin the baseball lives of the American League wild-card-leading Boston Red Sox next week at Fenway Park. 

"American League wild-card-leading Boston Red Sox" is way too long. This is better:

They play the Angels again on Sunday and then next week at Boston will try to ruin the baseball lives of the Red Sox, leading the wild-card chase in the American League.

It's about the same length, and it gets rid of the huge stack.

More EDITOR@WORK blog entries

• You really DO need an editor

• Reminders for would-be novelists

• What I do when I'm editing

• Slogging through the Internet

• J-school: More eyes on your stories

• J-school: Go out and learn

• Rookie mistakes for magazine writers

Blog entries on The Auto Racing Journal

• Angel in Black: Remembering Dale Earnhardt Sr.

(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)

• Then Junior Said to Jeff...

(the book of great NASCAR stories)

• My best day as a sports writer

• Jeff Gordon's milk toast to Dale Earnhardt

• Wayne Auton: A life in racing

More blog entries by Tom Gillispie

• Resume for a writer and editor

• An editor's views on powerful writing

• Advice for be and would-be novelists

• Links to TG's stories online

• Favorite quotes

• What I do when I'm editing

Anecdotes by Tom Gillispie

• Wipeout at Death Valley

• Days with rainbows

• A desperate writer working in the dark

• Yer outta there!