Saturday, November 21, 2009

For the first time Thursday

Needs editing: This was found online today -- Washington spoke to local news media for the first time Thursday since he had surgery to repair a double fracture in his right leg, a grotesque injury that included both a broken tibia and fibular bone last month at Oakland.

Forget the grotesque injury; the problem in this sentence is up front, and it has all to do with the date. If you change it to Washington spoke to local news media Thursday for the first time since he had surgery..., it's easier to read. And it doesn't sound like he had surgery on Thursday.


Contact: I can be reached at tgilli52@gmail.com or nc3022@yahoo.com. Also, my Twitter handle is EDITORatWORK.

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