So who are these Jets? They are a team that commits too many pre-snap penalties in crucial situations, including several this season by tight end Ben Hartsock, Ryan said. They are a team that has allowed six touchdowns this season when its defense was not on the field.
They are a team that has failed to put together a complete performance, tight end Dustin Keller said. They are a team failing in consistency, offensive tackle Damien Woody said.
Every time the writer says They are a team..., it bothers me. It grates on me.
The Jets commit too many penalties. They have allowed six touchdowns when the defense isn't on the field. They haven't put together a complete performance. They fail in consistency. Or they haven't been consistent. Simple as that.
Sorry. I always look for the quickest way to say things.
Too much: Here's another sentence/paragraph that bothers me -- “It was a terrible night for us,” Carroll told reporters after the game. What's the point of told reporters after the game? He wouldn't tell them that before or during the game. You could just put Carroll said, and it'd be fine.
Contact: Reach me at firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com.
More EDITOR@WORK blog entries
Blog entries from The Auto Racing Journal
(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)
(the book of great NASCAR stories)
More blog entries by Tom Gillispie
Anecdotes by Tom Gillispie