Editing awkward sentences

Needs editing: Henne has struggled with the location of his passes his entire career, especially when it comes to throwing deep. That's an issue the coaches have worked on addressing.

Both sentences could be improved.

Henne has struggled with the location of his passes, especially long throws, his entire career. The coaches have addressed that issue.

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MORE EDITOR@WORK BLOG ENTRIES

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• Reminders for would-be novelists

• What I do when I'm editing

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• J-school: Go out and learn

• Rookie mistakes for magazine writers

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