Thursday, July 21, 2016

Matching words and names

FOUND ONLINE: Built around the pack line defense and a very patient offense, Tony Bennett needs a certain type of kid to fit in to his system.

This makes it sound like Tony Bennett is built around the pack line defense. He's not. His system is built around it.

With a system built around the pack line defense and a patient offense, Tony Bennett needs a certain type of kid to fit his system.

Yes, it's a little longer, but it's accurate. Also, "very" isn't necessary.


CONTACT: Email me at tgilli52@gmail.com or nc3022@yahoo.com. Also, my Twitter handle is EDITORatWORK.


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