Most of that is fine, but it should be whose, not who's.
HYPHENATION ROCK: I always have a hard time figuring out where the hyphens go for Duke basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski. Still, I know they go before the "s." Why mention it? For a wire story, the computer just hyphenated his name before the "w," so I put a hyphen ahead of the "s."
More EDITOR@WORK blog entries
Blog entries from The Auto Racing Journal
(a book of great stories about the Intimidator)
(the book of great NASCAR stories)
More blog entries by Tom Gillispie
Anecdotes by Tom Gillispie